hawaii

Why? (a repost from myspace)

from now on i'm not going to look out for anyone else but #1, myself. why should i care about others, why should i try to do things w/ other people if they are just going to cancel on me and not even think anything of it. why are people always looking out for #1 instead of thinking how something will effect others around them? i guess i just don't understand anything b/c i do think of others and i put others wants and needs before mine. i can't wait to get away from here, away from everything i know, away from everyone that i can't depend on. i know i can depend on myself but thats it. maybe i should become not dependable so people will quit taking advantage of me. maybe if i let a few people down, if i put my needs and wants infront of other sometimes maybe people will realize how it feels to be let down. i have been let down by so many people who i have planned things w/ then they cancel or let down b/c people don't live up to what they say they are going to do. maybe i shouldn't hold everyone at the standard i hold myself at. is it too much to ask to just think of someone else before you think of yourself for once? i guess this is the end of the nice erin who is dependable. i have been walked on for the last time. screw all you bitches who think you can take advantage of me and you people who like to always cancel plans on me. thank you for turning me into a bitter person who doesn't think they can rely on anyone.
  • Current Mood
    disappointed disappointed
hawaii

(no subject)

well school work has slowed down i don't have any homework so i've applied for a job and i hope i hear back soon. I have decided to go to UNC-Charlotte for college even if i don't get the teaching fellows scholarship because it is the best fit for me. i had my last teaching fellows interview saturday at central in durham and i think it went well. not really much going on. this saurday i have a meeting in new bern and i have a 4 day weekend so it is going to be nice and i get to fill out more scholarships...oh joy. just updating realy quick because i haven't updated recently.
~Erin
hawaii

(no subject)

i am now a regional finalist for the teaching fellows. i have an interview @ NCCU @1 on feb 11 so that shall be fun. not a lot has happened w/ me i've just been extremly busy w/ school and scholarships so i haven't had a lot of time for surprises. i got my final grades for my classes and i'm very proud of myself. i got an A in stat, lab tech and ToK and a B in physics. i only have to take my physics exam so i only have to go to school tuesday and half of wed which is already a half day. my ipod has turned on me and i'm trying to figure out how to fix it. sometimes the click wheel is broken and sometimes it works and everytime i try to load new songs to it from my computer it erases things so i think i'll have fun doing that all week. i just flet i should post so people know i haven't forgotten about lj i just read my friends and then forget to update so i guess i'm kinda a slacker but oh well.

~Erin
  • Current Music
    gilmore girls season 4
hawaii

(no subject)

so much happier after this weekend. i think i just needed a break from school and everyone there. only 4 days next week and christmas is on sunday...wow this has been a quick month. i haven't gotten my letters from GSE yet but i'm looking for them. if anyone from carolyn's class got 'em let me know. now off to do hw that i have put off. ~Erin
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    content content
hawaii

(no subject)

so the chrous concert was kind of disapointing. i don't really know what to say but i was kinda sad.

i don't know why i feel so depressed today. i just feel like i'm not worth anything and everything i am doing is not really needed and i could do better. i just want to give up on almost everything i love and hold close to my heart like music and dance. i kinda feel like if i didn't do those things i could do more w/ my school work but then i wouldn't have any outside interaction w/ people. i don't know what to think about anything today. maybe i'll be positive tomorrow but today i seem all negative. i need someone to talk to but everyone is too busy. i need someone to talk to so much right now. ~E
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    sad sad
hawaii

(no subject)

tonight there is a chorus concert. i don't know what to think, one part of me wants to be happy that i get to watch and that i am able to go but another part of my laughs every time one of my friends talks about how crappy it is and how much they can't stand it. i know i shouldn't laugh like that but some of it just amuses me. I took Joy Mangum home today and she asked me why i quit chorus and i told her i had a problem w/ the chorus dept as a whole and a lot of the stuff that goes on and the stuff they can get away with. she didn't have a clue what i was talking about but i think people are blind to it until someone points it out to them. whatever i'll update after the concert about how it went. they are singing children go where i send the...the same arraignment from GSE. it shall be loads of fun. i took a physics test today, i don't think it went well but i'll know tomorrow. that class has made me insane recently but it is almost over. we have 4 more weeks w/ these 1st semester classes which is beginning to feel like forever. i made some art today check it out: http://artpad.art.com/gallery/?irgl187yt00 i'll update after the concert.
~Erin

i looked at the rent cd that they are selling in target and i can't believe they are leaving such great songs out. whatever. go see rent if you can.
  • Current Music
    you'll see - Rent
hawaii

(no subject)

yet again physics is kicking my butt and i have no clue what is going on. sherwin doesn't help much either. i ask questions and he always thinks i'm trying to tell him he is wrong so he answers them like it is killing him and tells me that i should do that and i just look at him. a lot of the time tho he doesn't answer my questions and i get confused. its like he just wants me to give up in that class like some of the other people. sometimes i wish he didn't only care about 4 people in our class. if i ask him if we can do something he is like if we have time but if one of them asks he stops everything and we do it and i can't take it anymore. whatever i'm just going to try to get thru that class.

all my other classes are going great. i have fun just about everyday and i don't mind going but after 1st sometimes i'm discouraged. but lab tech always makes it better w/ brenda and the present wrapping.

life other than school has been pretty much nonexistent. i'm going to get some boots w/ B on saturday that i really want for christmas and mom told me today she will get them for me. i'm sooo happy.

thats about all for now. its time for wonderful physics hw that i have asked sherwin to explain to me soo many times but i'm just going to try it yet again today. ~Erin

i feel kinda weird posting these things but what the hey.

Reply to this post, and I'll tell you one of a lot of reason[s] why I like/love/adore you. Then put this in your own journal, and spread the love.
  • Current Mood
    cranky physics homework...
hawaii

lots of turkey

wow thanksgiving was fun with all my family even if my cousin missed thanksgiving dinner to move out of my aunts house. i think everyone will come out ok in the end. I got to see so many people this weekend that i haven't seen in a while and one person i have never seen, my new cousin chandler. he is so cute and so small. ok enough about the family.

not a lot has been going on around here otherwise just lots of school work and other boring things. I saw Rent on wed w/ mitch and it was soo great. i really like that movie and i now i have the sound track. maybe i'll go see it again soon.

i spent wed in durham w/ mitch. it was fun just chillin out in durham and going so many different places and taking billions of different ways to get everywhere. we dodged a lot of traffic and went to crack town when i was right in the 1st place. i got a little lost on the way home but found myself i guess....anyway it was cool now i can say i have been to durham for more than just doing something at duke.

on friday i went shopping early and got new stock speakers for my car b/c someone said they sounded blown and they were like 1/4 the original price so i got them and i went to put them in yesterday and none of my speakers were blown so now i have 2 new speakers...but i'll keep them incase i do blow one of my speakers.

this weekend seems to have been the most eventful one for me in a while i guess its good b/c i needed to have some fun and get away from school and stress and many other things. maybe some of the things i learned will make me enjoy school a little more.

~Erin
  • Current Music
    La Vie Boheme - Rent
hawaii

a little fun thing then a real post

1. Take your first name and replace each letter with the corresponding number in the alphabet.
2. Add all of the numbers together to create a kind of super number.
3. Add the digits of the number together.
4. Find the post (back) of the resulting number in your livejournal. If you don't have that many posts, add the digits together again.
5. Take the digit you noted in step 2 and count that many words into the post.
6. Use the resulting word in a google image search, and select a picture from the first page and post the results.

1. 5+18+9+14
2. 46
3. 10
4. Tuesday sept 27 2005
5. would
6. i couldn't get the image in here but this is the one i found: http://www.ctx3.com/MT/archives/teachgun.jpg


Now for the real post:
we had a physics test today and i studied a fair amount and i think i did well on the test considering i don't like his multiple choice part. i think it will all prepare me for the AP test in the end and it will help a lot. i got 2 As and 2 Bs on my report card. the As being in lab tech and TOK (mom said if i didn't get an A in lab tech she would kick my head in b/c all i have to do is go to class everyday for 5 mins) amd the Bs being in AP Stat and AP Physics. i was so angry about my AP Stat grade. it was a 92.3 and i didn't want to give my stat teacher extra work entering in all my hw grade just so i could get .2 points and get an A so i asked him if he would just give me an A b/c he knew i had one. obviously he didn't and i could have killed him when i got my report card this morning. whatever it's over.

in other news GARNER FOOTBALL IS UNDEFEATED AND THE #1 SEED IN THE 4-AA EAST DIVISION. but you know what we win for being undefeated and the #1 seed? yet another game against Millbrook. atleast this time it is at Garner and it shall be loads of fun, cold but fun. i'm am looking forward to another great game of Garner football. all our defense has to do is play decent and will be ok. enough about that.

other than class i haven't really had time for much of a life. i have dance and bowling and that stuff but the only other eventful think for me is the turkeyshoot. i know some of you are probably laughing b/c i know you think garner is already mule powered and you are wondering how this turkeyshoot thing works. well first you gather a lot of rednecks together in one place with a lot of shotguns. then you line them up and have them shoot at about 15 targets and the person who get a pellet the closest to the cross arrows wins. i know it sounds simple and not entertaining but it isn't simple and it is entertaining. so i guess that could be a good laugh for some of you but whatever laugh about the ways i spend my time out in the country where you use the woods as your bathroom and you bring a cooler full of beer. if you did laugh at this please comment i want to know how many people actually read this.

have a great week and long weekend. ~Erin
  • Current Music
    silence